Archive for March 12th, 2004

Roid Madness, part 2

Friday, March 12th, 2004
  • End of Days for steroids

    The Governor of California took time from his state’s deepening fiscal crisis last weekend to preside over a body building contest.

    Never mind that the guy who won the event, the prize for which included a Hummer and $100,000, looked as natural as a taxidermy exhibit. [...]

    By coming to Columbus last weekend, the Governor admirably refused to ignore his roots. But the ground is starting to shift underfoot. Things are starting to get messy. It’s time for Arnold to get it.

  • Heavyweights convene on steroids

    [this must be written tongue-in-cheek]

    Conspicuously absent from the proceedings was Caleeeefornia governor Arnold “First Terminator” Schwarzenegger. According to Sacramento insiders, Arnold was busy examining results from the steroid tests that should have been administered at last weekend’s Arnold Classic bodybuilding competition.

    While not guilty of steroid use until the phantom testing is completed, it has been alleged that several Arnold Classic competitors strained muscles in their ears and lips during posedowns.